What the living shit is this?!

What the living shit is this?!

 

Can someone fucking explain this to me? Actually screw that, I defy you to explain this to me! Who the fuck is this add campaign for? What stupid ad executive shithead thought this was in anyway a good idea? How many potential Doge/Ram truck buyers are fans of The Hunger Games? For that matter how many fans of The Hunger Games can fucking even drive?

I can only imagine that this is the result of a marketing contract that no one actually read. Somewhere someone at FCA (or whatever the fuck Fiat is calling Chrysler today) and Lionsgate had lunch, drinks and then accidental sex back in 2012. In an effort to write the hotel room off, they wrote up a marketing contract to tie in Chrysler with whatever Lionsgate biggest hit would be in 2015 when hopefully they’d be gone. They then passed it on up the chain figuring it would never fly anyway, and eagerly awaited accounting to reimburse them for the hotel room. But instead no one fucking read it, thought about it in any way, or asked “so what might that movie be?” and just rubber stamped it. Perhaps someone did read it and just thought Lionsgate was making the new Star Wars movie?

Then at some point three years latter The Hunger Games hits the numbers and a work order was generated automatically by a computer and sent to the marketing department who must have just shrugged ‘well it comes from corporate’ and mindlessly started the impossible task of either selling Ram trucks to tweens, or convincing older working class guys to buy a truck based on that movie their kid won’t shut up about that they’ve never seen.

If you really wanted to market Ram trucks to older working class men using the Hunger Games they just should have used the leaked photos of Jennifer Lawrence’s asshole, slapped a Dodge logo on it and called it a day.

 

 

I need a Jeep

Sometimes a small car doesn’t come in handy. Sure she handles fucking great, driving it is fun, I never have to drive when there’s a group going out, and I get to have the top down. Buuuuut the cargo capacity is a bit limited.

So this is the camera gear a client shipped to me to use for a few days, that I then had to get back to UPS. I probably should have made two trips but fortunately the UPS store was down hill from my house so I could pretty much just drift all the way there. Which I had to do since if you look closely at the first pic you can see that I couldn’t actually get my shifter into third gear due to the lack of room.

Your trucks ass is too big for that spot dick

My gymnasium is a never ending supply of automotive douchebaggery. There needs to be a simple rule printed on the keys of trucks like this that just says “asshole, park this shit in the back of the lot”.

This one really hurt!

O.k. This one was exceptionally difficult for me to handle. I appreciate you probably drive her hard, but why man why?

The car is slightly biased towards oversteer (mostly because of the go cart handling at the front). But not too much, and you can mostly tune that with some front and rear width tire stagger. But at high speeds where a wing would come into play would you need it? Perhaps, but not this monstrosity. Oh someones god fucking no.

And yes, that is a sticker of Darth Vader asking “who’s your daddy?” I also don’t know how I feel about that either.

Truck Hole

So you know those big ass metal plates they throw down over giant holes in the street? Ever worry you might fall in one while people say “nah you paranoid”? Well here’s your fears.

During the never ending pile of noise and destruction that is the city’s gas line replacement they left a giant hole on my street with a metal plate over it for days. Now since half the people who cut down it can’t seem to go under 50 mph it was only time until this shit finally happened. After hearing a loud ass crash I walked out to find this. I felt bad for the guy (though I don’t believe for one fucking second he was “only going 20”) since he broke his front axle, and hopefully the city will pay for this shit (and charge the fuck out of the contractor that did this).

Random Car Show

So with mom stuck hobbling around the house after knee surgery dad and I headed out to check out a pawn shop in Myrtle Beach when we found a random car show and of course had to bust a U. After joking that I’d probably not see a single foreign car my dad brilliantly jokes he’d find more rebel flags and thus started the game of rebel flags vs foreign cars. In the end it was 3-3. Not bad, I thought there’d be a lot less foreign cars.