Category Douchebag

Now this prick knows how to not give a shit. Or they’re dead in the trunk. Being DC I give it 50/50.

I got my first parking ticket in Mobtown a couple of moths ago. Now it was not technically a parking ticket.  I caught one for not having a front license plate. Why don’t I have a front license plate? Because fuck you Maryland I’m not drilling into the front of my car for your bullshit. My guess is that since I was parked at the end of the row the fucking parking cunt was out writing a ticket for whoever was parked illegally next to me and decided to do a walk around of my car while at it. Have I paid it? No. Have I received what I believe to be a second notice about non-payment from he DMV weeks ago? Yes. Have I opened that letter? No!

I saw this nine fucking days since the last of the snow, you trashy ass cunts. There wasn’t even any snow on the street at all in the whole trashy ass neighborhood filled with trashy ass peoples. Seriously the whole putting garbage out to keep the spot you shoveled thing does at least announce to the entire public who the trashy ass thugs are in every neighborhood.

But to you, It must be hard being such a special little snowflake.

Your time is no more precious than anyone else’s in the city. You didn’t do anything anyones else with a car didn’t do. You don’t own the parking spot you dug out any more than you own the sidewalk in front of your house you’re supposed to dig out. Your labor was to get access to your car, not the spot. Want to keep that spot? Don’t move your fucking car then. Do you put out cones to stop people from walking down the sidewalk after you shovel it? Fuck you, a small amount of labor everyone else in this city had to do doesn’t suddenly make public property yours. Fucking assholes!

My gymnasium is a never ending supply of automotive douchebaggery. There needs to be a simple rule printed on the keys of trucks like this that just says “asshole, park this shit in the back of the lot”.

Just because your hybrid gets you in the car pool lane doesn’t mean it gets you two spots in the lot asshole. But by the look of your parking, and type of car I bet you’re a “hybrid” too, part smug asshole part douche bag.

To the fuckwad who hit my car and kept going an hour after I left for Mexico, I hope you die a slow long painful as fuck death from syphilis, not the short hail of gunfire I’m sure it will be since the car you where driving was stolen. Your only mistake was doing this before 10am so it was just before that lady who sits on her stoop a few doors down pills kick in for the day and she could still remember a 6 digit license plate number. To your credit though you did this in baltimore so the cops will never give a fuck to find you after you ditch the car.

Oh look, it’s our douchebag truck from two weeks ago, and he has a douchebag friend. I wonder if they know each other?

Older Mercedes sedan + low profile tires x (crapy racing rims that belong on a shitty Prelude)/taking up two spaces=douche bag!

Extra points for taking the spots near the front of the lot.