Hey Maryland, why the hell can you not build another DMV? Will it break the State budget? By the looks of this place I can’t see how unless you suddenly become West Virginia.

Why are the numbers your calling going backward now? And what the hell happened to Mr. G117? And you, guy next to me, stop reading over my shoulder will yea.  What the fuck happened to G122? Do you really mean there are 63 more people in front of me? Why are there no hot chicks here? What, hot chicks don’t drive? Their license never expire? I call bullshit. Statistically any group of people this big should have at least four fuckable chicks and one hottie. Perhaps everyone is just getting uglier. They certainly are getting fatter it seems. Look at that one over there, belly hanging out, chewing gum like cud.

Lady will you please for the love of god shake your baby! It will stop screaming so damn loudly if you do and I promise everyone here would applaud you for it.

Look I can only sit here dressed like a clown for so long, at least take the damn photo so I can take some of this shit off. You’re making it way too hard to get a ridiculous ID photo. What? Fine lady you can plug your damn iphone into this computer to charge it for a minute. But don’t tell anyone else, I’m not fucking PEPCO. Actually if I was PEPCO I’d unplug it, run it dry then charge you for the service.

3.5 hours latter I finally have a license. I really liked the part where you charged me an extra $45 to type an “M” on the damn thing. And it turns out Maryland takes the photo from the neck up so I wore this ridiculous shirt and tie all day for nothing. Fuck you Maryland…fuck you.